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Friday, October 31, 2003

Feelings Revealed:
The Sweet Taste of Victory!

I have been told by a couple of friends that my blog is void of feelings and emotions, that I should put my emotions into words, that I should express my feelings. But my question is : "Have we ever learnt that?". As an Iranian girl who has spent almost all her life in Iran, I have never learnt to express my feelings but have always been good at hiding them and that was what my society expected me to do, or at least that is what I thought would be best for me. I have suppresed my feelings and have bottled up my emotions for so long that sometimes I feel numb. At times of happiness and great excitement, I would like to shout and yell and laugh out loud and act all crazy and insane and jump up and down, and when enraged, I would like to throw a tantrum and scream and cry, but a good Iranian girl shall be calm and contain herself. That is what my community taught me and I always did my homework on that.
My feeling when I first moved here? This sense of rage and bitterness, feeling of being betrayed, disappointment, great loss, and confusion! Rage for all the years I lost not knowing how to live, bitter about the kind of life we lived vs the life enjoyed by those living here, feeling betrayed by "the most merciful", who had promised fairness and fairness was not what I had received, disappointed in the god of my country not being as generous as the god of this country, and great loss over all the wasted years and the wasted tears and the wasted potentials and the wasted brain cells and the wasted energy. And to top it all off, confusion about all the abovementioned feelings. To feel or not to feel, that is the most confusing of them all!

Now for the sweet taste and smell of triumph.
On Wednsday, we were on our way to UCLA to attend this philosophy class on "Freewill and determinism"( jabr-o-ekhtiyar) and I received a call of congrats from home for getting accepted into a school I had worked hard for and had dreamt of attending. You would expect me to throw myself off the car and start dancing in I-5 freeway, but no, I was so numb that I sat there not even sporting a sweet Persian smile, telling my friend the good news in a non-excited tone of voice! He got all excited for me and all suprised at my reaction. I was congratulated in class by other friends and after the class we went to meet a couple of guys from the Tarz Ensemble group for a b-day celebration. Despite all the congratulations, the numbness still held its grip and it was the next day, when my blogger friend sent me an email and called to congratulate me and told me to scream a little, that I felt an iota of excitement and gave out a faint shriek of joy! How is that for revealing feelings!

Sunday, October 26, 2003

Eye-Ashes:
Wildfires in Southern California:

"Wildfires that have burned for days merged into walls of flame stretching across miles in parts of Southern California on Sunday,..."

A friend and I went to Balboa island today and after a short walk on the beach, I turned into a Persian "Cinder-ella"/ "Ash-lady"! I still have them ashes in my eyes to prove it! Wonder how one can rid herself of a severe case of eye-ashes!

P.S. I like my friend's choice, "eye-rash", better than "eye-ash". I did get an awful rash in the eye yesterday and we are still having an Ash-Shower situation here! All you hear on TV is about the wildfires. I hope and pray that it ends ASAP.

Look into the Camela!:
"Lost in Translation":

Some parts of this movie are side-splittingly funny. I saw it on Saturday and still when I think of some of the dialogues, I cannot help belly-laughing it out of my system ( whatever that may mean!). One of the funny scenes that cracked me up: The Japanesse director talks for quite a few minutes and the only translation the Japanesse translator gives is: " Look into the camela!". I was talking about it to a friend and he said that during the fervor of the first years of the revolution in Iran, there was a press conference. The reporters asked this guy visiting Iran some questions such as: " What do you think about the student movement you have witnessed here" and " How did you find the economic state in Iran", and ..., the Farsi to English translator turns to the in-need-of-translation guy and says: " What do you think about here"! Now that is what I call a short and to the point translation!

What other people think of us:

My Spanish instructor is a very wise guy. His motto is: " What other people think of us is none of our business!"

Our Beloved Orange County:

Pedram, in his Oct 22 post, gives an interesting account of our lil' "O.C." which we "O.C.eans" can definitely relate to. He writes:

"I spent most of my day in Orange County today..."

"...If I was running for Governor, that would be part of my platform, to build a very large ghetto smack right in the middle of the county. I guarantee it will do the place much good. I even selected the site: right at the heart of Mission Viejo. We could even call it Ghetto Viejo. What d'ya think?"


Wanna know what I think Pedram? I am thinking you are right to some point, but for the love of God, why Mission viejo? Why not "Ghettoport beach"(= Newport beach), "El Ghetto" (=El Toro), "Ghetto Mesa" (= Costa Mesa) or even "San Ghetto Capistrano" (=San Juan Capistrano)?

Wednesday, October 22, 2003

Persians do it best:

A heavenly night with "Tarz Ensemble"
Persian Court Music and Dance of the 19th Century
Sunday Oct. 19, Morgan-Wixson Theater

My good friend who is a great Tar-zan himself ( not Tarzan as in Tarzan and Jane! but as in playing the Tar. Actually he plays the setar), invited us to go see his friends perform and boy, it was an ethereal performance. The stage was beautifully designed and the performances were out of this world. A Bulgarian-American girl, Robyn Friend, gave a beautiful Qajar dance performance. All in all It was a night that I will remember for a long time.

Mambo Italiano/Iraniano:

This is a must see movie. It is hillarious and beautifully made. This independent movie is about breaking with tradition and swimming against the tide. It is about not worrying so much about your image in your community, something we as Iranians living abroad can definitely relate to.
Here in Cali, image is everything to the Persian community. I am not saying that everyone here is like that, but most are. Tons of make-up on when shopping at a Persian market, high heels at the beach, Benz and BMWs at concerts! And I am the kind of girl who would go to a Persian supermarket wearing old jeans and a t-shirt, with a curler in her hair (does that make me an iconoclast?)! Hey, you have to be comfortable and secure about the kind of person you are, and not all the make up in the world is gonna grant you that!

Sunday, October 19, 2003

Under the mystic, intolerable Tuscan, Mexico Sun ?

The movies I saw last week:

Intolerable Cruelty:
Honestly, I was expecting a cheesy romantic comedy but surprisingly it was a sweet, hilarious romantic movie. From this movie, I learnt what a pre-nupt is, so I guess it was also pretty educational!
Catherine Zeita-Jones is the classiest, most gorgeous, most sophisticated and elegant actress ever and George Clooney, oh well, what can I say. Georgie is simply fabulous.


Under the Tuscan sun:
Numero uno in my list. The scenery was beautiful. The colors were gorgeous and Diane Lane was extraordinary. The Italian men in the film were too handsome for words, and they reminded me so much of our beloved Persian men in that they too were suffering from a bad case of rubber-neck-itism if you know what I mean. ( Of course not all Persian men eye women up and down while with their wives or girlfriends, only about 99.99 percent do! But seriously, Persian men rank among the most committed men on this planet, that is what I would like to believe at least!)

Mystic River:
Exhausted? Need a good sleep? Do not take sleeping pills, go see this film. It will definitely put you into a long, relaxing sleep! It is the most boring, stupid, corny movie ever. My American friend got a good sleep out of it and he even snored all through the film and the only thing I could think of the whole time was: "Lucky guy, wish I could be a non-lady, take off my high heel shoes and doze off and wake up just before him to catch the last minute of the movie!" I knew from the beginning who the killer was, it was such an insult to the intelligence. I used to adore Sean Penn, but guess what, all the respect is gone Sean!

Once Upon a Time in Mexico:
It is a sequel to "Desperado" which was a sequel to "El Mariachi" . Antonio Banderas and Johnny Depp give great performances but the film itself is less than impressive. If you are not so fond of violence and blood bath, think twice before seeing this movie.

The movie I did not see and not gonna:

Kill Bill:
My very good Persian friend told me he is off to see "Bill Kill", which was really cute! Thank God I never miss a chance to tease my friends when they make the simplest mistakes! Ain't I great? So anyways, this is what he wrote me after he saw it:
"I really don't think you would want to see this bill bill (that's the Turkish pronunciation of bolbol...) movie. Remember I told you it was violent? I had no idea. Violent is too tender a word to describe it. Seeing heads
cut off and hands chopped off and blood springing and splashing out of bodies is not fun, and you get more than enough of that in this movie.
But well, if you can stand all that, technically speaking it's a
well-made movie, whatever that means..."
Now isn't that the greatest description ever? Anyways, no "kill bill" for this gal, she is too chicken a gal to stand the sight of gallons of blood and scores of un-claimed heads. She usually passes out after such movies!

Wednesday, October 15, 2003

"Overanalysis is Paralysis"

I am taking a "Speed Spanish" course at a college in O.C. and my Spanish professor is simply adorable. The other day he was telling us how we should just go up to a latino and speak as well as we can without thinking too much about it. He explained to us through this old poem how dangerous overanalysis can be :

"The Perils of Thinking"
A centipede was happy quite,
Until a frog in fun
Said, "Pray, which leg comes after which?"
This raised her mind to such a pitch,
She lay distracted in the ditch,
Considering how to run.

P.S"Now ain't that the truth", I ask you guys!

P.P.S. I did as the prof. had instructed me to do! I went up to the gardener yesterday and said" Hola senor, arbol(=tree) no cut, porfavor", in a semi-spanish accent! Happy to be so fluent in a language so beautiful, I went inside only to come out 3 hours later to a tree completely cut and naked! Oh well, I guess I should have thought a lil' at least before speaking so confidently a language oh-so unfamiliar !!

P.P.P.S. Our one and only Pensive Persian believes that thinking is for suckers and the only thing I can say is " Thank God I am no sucker!" Just one question though Reza : " Doesn't Pensive mean thoughtful"?


Sunday, October 12, 2003

The Persian Queen of Peace: Ms. Shirin Ebadi:

She is our pride, she is our queen, she is a true symbol of peace, and today I am prouder than ever of being a Persian woman.
Ms. Ebadi, you truly are the Pride of Persia. You are a Persian jewel and I am ecstatic that you belong to our great land.

P.S. The pictures on Tehran24's site are pretty awesome. There are more pictures posted on some of the blogs. Here is a list of the lovely bloggers who have displayed the lovely pictures of a lovely welcome for a lovely Persian hero:

Roshan
Pendar
Saeed

Friday, October 10, 2003

A Persian guy's choice for Governor: "The porn star"

I know a Persian guy ( or shall I say a donut guy!) in Irvine, Orange County. We rarely get to talk since we are both pretty busy ( or at least we pretend that we are!). Tonight he called and we started exchanging opinions on everything and solving the problems engulfing the world!!!

He put me in a state of shock when he brazenly said:" I voted for the porn star in the recall election!". I tried to keep calm and not throw a tantrum and to give him a chance to explain his views.

"well", the Persian gent said, " for one thing, she would have legalized prostitution". I barely kept myself from driving to his house and strangling him! " Why do you think that would be a good thing?" I asked him, suppressing my rage! " Well, right now prostitution exists and everyone is aware of it and eventhough it is considered a crime, no one does anything about it. The prostitutes never get busted!!! If they legalize it and impose tax on it, then the state will not have to raise taxes on cars and other things!! With 10 or 20 bucks paid to the state by each prostitute for each client, all the problems will be solved!!" He explained in a I-am-oh-so-right kinda voice!!!

I thought about it for a minute and surprisingly his insane idea sounded somewhat logical!!! Persian guys are so insightful, aren't they?

P.S. He also said his second choice was Larry Flint, the casino owner!!!

P.P.S. Another interesting thing my genius Persian friend pointed out was that an official, weekly O.C. magazine has prostitution services advertised in its pages under the title of "escorting agencies"!!!! My observant friend said that they have pictures of girls and there are prices written underneath each one!! For example: "Full service: 200 dollars", "Half Service: 100 dollars"!!!! What this inquisitive Persian was wondering about was the meaning of "half service"!!! ( I do not even know what "full service" means, and I do not even want to know ever!!) He says him and a couple of other bikar Persians had looked through the pictures and had chosen a good looking one to call and find out what was going on( As if I am stupid enough to believe that they only were curious!!) He believes that the pictures there, are a trap and the agency will send a different girl, not the pretty blonde in the pic!!! ( The things poor guys have to worry about!)!!
In California it is a crime to receive money for "bedding" someone, that is why they charge money for escorting the client and then.....!!!!

P.P.P.S All the above-mentioned sad, disgusting, impolite but bitter-true facts aside, this Persian guy in Irvine is an educated and clean guy, he just needs to concentrate more on his studies and be less nosy!!!!!

Thursday, October 09, 2003

I am a "Donut Girl in California"?

Hooman:

"Persian n. Cdn (NW Ont.) an oblong doughnut covered with pink or white icing.

Source The Canadian Oxford Dictionary."

Wow, I have been called a few of things like: bella, muffin, pie,..., but never in this life have I ever been called a donut!!! Now I am a donut girl in the land of the donut-eaters!
So does this mean that as Persians we are considered to be sweet, fattening, un-healthy and with a big hole in the middle ( Some have holes and some don't I guess, I am not a donut-expert)! ? I can assure everyone that I am among the ones with no hole whatsoever in their heads!!! Or at least that is what I like to believe!!!

Benz anyone?

I promised my friend, baarbod, who is a blogger and lives in the same State, that if I were to win the lottery, I would buy him a Benz!!! In his blog and under his "prayer of the week" ( for the second week of Oct. I guess) he has prayed for me to win the lottery to buy him the promised-Benz!!! I would like to announce here that If I win, I shall buy him 2 and a BMW!!!! Too generous you say? Well, that is just the kind of person I am!!!!
You guys out there, do any of you want a Benz too? Pray for me to win, I am giving them away!!!! ( Not that my dad owns a Benz factory or anything!! It is just that I am such a giving, loving, caring, sweet person!!!!!!!!!!!!)

P.S. I just checked Wednesday's numbers, once again not even one number matches!!! Oh well, guess we have to drive our Toyotas for a lil' longer!!!! But not to worry for we shall eventually emerge victorious!! Let's pray for a day when each Iranian drives a brand new Mercedes Benz to the supermarket ( and back)!!!! I will drink my tea to that!!!

Tuesday, October 07, 2003

Terminator in the house:
A victory for Hollywood:


Arnold is now the governor and my question is: "When is the next flight out of California?"
Just kidding!!! You never know, he may turn out to be a pretty good governor after all!!! As long as he tries to focus less on women's body parts and more on politics, I won't complain!! But is that possible? I wonder! ( I meant "is it possible for him not to flirt", not "is it possible for me not to complain"!!! I am a woman for God sake, I need to complain or else I would explode! God forbid the day I am deprived of the "gift of nag"!!

P.S. Mehrdad:

"Conan the Vulgarian
Recall all US politicians! But can anyone take the Gropinator seriously as a politician? "

P.P.S. Groper+ Terminator= Gropinator!!! Wow, I like that!!

Not just another Tuesday in O.C.
Recall day, Whoopi night:

Well, today is the day, the day of recall. An unprecedented event in the history of California. Will Mr womanizer become the next Governor? His "grope and hope" tour, as someone on TV called it, seemed pretty successful and it is highly likely for the actor-turned-politician to win the gubernatorial race. It may turn out to be an "Hasta la vista Davis" day after all!!!! And oh, Arnold admitted on TV that he IS a big flirt!! We appreciate your honesty Arnold!!!!
whoopieeee!! Tonight is Whoopi night! I have always admired Whoopi Goldberg. But what glues me to my 27" TV screen every Tuesday night at 8:00 is the sweet, adorable and awfully talented Persian gentleman, Omid Jalili, who plays the role of a Persian handy man called Nasim. What cracks me up the most is how he gets all worked up when he is mistaken for Arabs! He starts yelling and shouting and repeating in a cute Persian- British accent that he is PERSIAN. He also starts saying things in Farsi whenever he gets upset which is hilarious. Overall, this Persian flavor has made the show so overly tasty.

P.S. I sometimes get mixed feelings about the show though. At times I feel as if it is not portraying a good and proper image of the Persians, but I tell myself that the very fact of a Persian being among the cast of an American sitcom should be reason enough for me to be content. Hey, it is a good start.

Sunday, October 05, 2003

Mehregan 2003
8th Annual Persian Festival of Autumn (Persian Harvest Festival)
Oct. 4-5

"Mehregan is celebrated to mark the beginning of Autumn. The colorful festival of Autumn, Mehregan, has been celebrated as a harvest festival by Persians for thousands of years where food and fodder were to be stored and fruit trees were to be pruned. Mehregan is also celebrated for the triumph of knowledge over ignorance and enlightment over darkness."
My take on Mehregan:
It was a fun event. Just seeing that many Persians in one place gave me a great feeling. We have a fantastic culture and extremely hospitable people. And oh, not to forget the most heavenly food ever! I had Chelo kebob and diet coke!! I need to keep in shape you know!!
P.S. World-renowned Persians.
Zeitun wonders why her name has been left out and I am hoping that one day I would make the list!!! Wishful thinking you say? Well, I beg to differ!!

Saturday, October 04, 2003

Weapons of Mass Distraction (not Destruction)!!:

Ok everyone, it is now time to admit that this whole war disaster was to divert attention from the mess of a country the cowboy president has made of the United States!!
Yes, like almost all Persians I disliked Saddam for what he had put us through. Yes, I wanted him deposed. But I expected the Bush administration to have a plan for the after-dethronement! Didn't you?
Iraqis are still getting killed, American soldiers are getting killed and the country is in a mess. And now the Bush administration admits that no WMDs were found?What kind of a foreign policy is that, I ask!!
P.S. It really shatters me to witness how innocent people have to pay for the mistakes their governments make. Not fair, not fair at all!

Governor Terminator/groper?

Arnold, governor of California? What a joke. He cannot even pronounce California let alone govern it! As one of the ads says, he does not belong to our planet, he is from planet Hollywood!
He is disrespectful to women, has no political background and worst of all, he is a Republican!! As if the Republicans have not done enough damage already. Oh well, the power of fame and fortune will once again prevail I guess!!
P.S. Mr Arnold, if God forbid you win the gubernatorial race, for goodness sake stop groping women!!! How about a little more respect for the opposite sex Mr. hot shot? Thanks, glad we had this conversation and glad I did not run into you while you were touring O.C.!!!
P.P.S. Saw this on TV today:
"Arnold, keep your hands off California Women!"

A note to the Persian guys:

Dear Persian gents, we love you!! We cannot live with you, cannot live without you( especially if you have not gone bald yet!!). So for the love of God, put aside the macho, Persian man image and be sensitive to our feelings. And oh, listen to what I heard on TV once:
"Never cause a woman to weep because God counts her tears"
Thank you and God bless!!!
Phew, glad I got that out of my system! Now I can hit the sack! Why you ask? IT IS ALMOST 1 AM FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!! Ooops, sorry for shouting! Stupid caps!!
P.S. Wonder if God counts men's tears too. It would only take a second!

Friday, October 03, 2003

Friday night in Orange County:

I sat in my comfortable chair, flipping channels. On channel 8, I came across a movie that looked familiar. Oh My God, not "without my daughter"! I had heard so much about it long ago but had never seen the movie. I called a persian friend who lives in O.C. too, to tell him to watch it. Not surprisingly, he was out partying, it is Friday night for God sake!!!
"Ok", I say to myself, "watch it but do not let it get to you". But how could I? What kind of an image are they trying to portray of us? I have to admit, many of the things are true, but hey, that is not the kind of people we are.
"Oh, wow"! I say out loud!( I have this habit of thinking out loud and talking to myself!!!!!). We have been through all that and we are still sane enough to go through life? We have witnessed revolution, war, overly strict government control,..., add to that personal problems and you get a crushed, shattered person whose heart is ripped out but is still struggling to become a success! God we are made of steel!! The worst people born here have gone through is a storm which they panic over!!
Ok, the film is over now and I am trying to get a grip over myself! "Easy girl", I shout at myself!!! "The only thing you can do is to become somebody and to prove the image being portrayed of the great Persians is wrong, as all the Persians have tried to do and have been pretty successful at doing so".

Friday night prayer: God, I need to win the lottery, I need the money to make a film that would portray the true image of us great Persians. And oh, I will use the rest of it to buy a Mercedes Benz if it is ok with you, after all, you cannot be a true Persian in Cali if you ain't got the Benz!!!


All about me:

Well, almost all!! I am a persian girl in Southern California. I live in Orange County, Persians call it "Porteghaal abaad"!! It is a very nice and quiet and awfully safe place and since I am pretty new here myself, I still do not know much about it. I have been reading blogs forever!! I guess it is time for me to write one of my own, and here I am, writing one in English because I do not have Farsi labels!! But guys, you need not get disappointed for soon I shall figure out how to write in Farsi and will do it!!!

P.S. I still have no idea how this site works! I will get the hang of it as I go along, I hope!!

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