Monday, June 20, 2005
BREAKING NEWS
One Step Forward, 10 Steps Back
Ok, we are now back to place one, the place of not even the one iota and the tiny sample of freedom we got the taste of for a short while! The government has spoken, whatshisname may soon become the president of our country and people will be back to the days of absolute darkness. I had made it a point to keep this blog a superficial journal and live a happy superficial life like the rest of us living in the glamorous Cali land. But how can I? "The darkest place on earth" is the country that made me the lonely freak that cannot be happy happy even in the happiest place on earth (no I don't mean disney!) among the goofies and the mickies and the beauties and the beasts and all them dwarves! I come from darkness and have learnt not to be happy and to always feel lonely even when surrounded by all the abovementioned population of my own nationality. The air of Cali is supposed to turn you into an indifferent cartoon character but that is not going to happen to those of us crippled and numb and sad and down from our days back in Iran! They say let bygones be bygones but how can that happen when the old files are not archived in the back of your head but are wide open dangling in front of your eyes. Not a day passes me by when I don't think about my past days and what I could have become had I not gone through that experience. I cannot be a goofy in the happiest place on earth. I cannot can't and refuse to be.
P.S. In a couple of hours I have to drive to school and present a case in my patent class on which inventor came first and which statute applies and all them other blah blahs! I cannot concentrate and I honest to goodness could have cared less. How about which statute can rid my people of all the pain piercing their hearts?
Black Friday
It is now official. 10 steps back. No, 27 steps back. Back to the days of absolute darkness and no ray of hope. It is my BDay for God sake! What a black BDay. What a Black Friday. Black is all we have seen and Black is all we wear and Black is all we know. My condolences to the people of the unhappiest place on earth.
P.S.'s:
Things turned out pretty good the weekend of my bday. Got a couple of small bday celebrations and a whole lotta bday messages. Some even sang for me and one even played the guitar. Felt real nice. And oh, my favorite gift this year: Yamaha Acoustic guitar F-335! Now I really need to learn.
Still in mourning over the ugliest president, in every way imaginable, to be taking the throne!
Met my clone at this graduation party a couple of nights ago! Exact same first name, very similar last name, same hair, same eyes! My exact clone, only a bit shorter, a bit chubbier and a whole lot luckier! Luckier for having lived here all her life, for not having the faintest idea what has ever happened in Iran, for not caring at all. I would really like to know how 2 people so alike could have lived such diametrically opposite lives.
Got a call from my A&S TV friend to go see the documentary about sex and sexuality among Persian girls with him and the girl producer, a private screening kinda thing! Quite anxious, I sped to the place only to be a bit disappointed. It kinda did not meet my expectations, but was a nice effort. We will be showing it in September, a panel discussion with the girls will follow (And yes Asad jaan, you and your phone book are invited!)
One Step Forward, 10 Steps Back
Ok, we are now back to place one, the place of not even the one iota and the tiny sample of freedom we got the taste of for a short while! The government has spoken, whatshisname may soon become the president of our country and people will be back to the days of absolute darkness. I had made it a point to keep this blog a superficial journal and live a happy superficial life like the rest of us living in the glamorous Cali land. But how can I? "The darkest place on earth" is the country that made me the lonely freak that cannot be happy happy even in the happiest place on earth (no I don't mean disney!) among the goofies and the mickies and the beauties and the beasts and all them dwarves! I come from darkness and have learnt not to be happy and to always feel lonely even when surrounded by all the abovementioned population of my own nationality. The air of Cali is supposed to turn you into an indifferent cartoon character but that is not going to happen to those of us crippled and numb and sad and down from our days back in Iran! They say let bygones be bygones but how can that happen when the old files are not archived in the back of your head but are wide open dangling in front of your eyes. Not a day passes me by when I don't think about my past days and what I could have become had I not gone through that experience. I cannot be a goofy in the happiest place on earth. I cannot can't and refuse to be.
P.S. In a couple of hours I have to drive to school and present a case in my patent class on which inventor came first and which statute applies and all them other blah blahs! I cannot concentrate and I honest to goodness could have cared less. How about which statute can rid my people of all the pain piercing their hearts?
Black Friday
It is now official. 10 steps back. No, 27 steps back. Back to the days of absolute darkness and no ray of hope. It is my BDay for God sake! What a black BDay. What a Black Friday. Black is all we have seen and Black is all we wear and Black is all we know. My condolences to the people of the unhappiest place on earth.
P.S.'s:
Things turned out pretty good the weekend of my bday. Got a couple of small bday celebrations and a whole lotta bday messages. Some even sang for me and one even played the guitar. Felt real nice. And oh, my favorite gift this year: Yamaha Acoustic guitar F-335! Now I really need to learn.
Still in mourning over the ugliest president, in every way imaginable, to be taking the throne!
Met my clone at this graduation party a couple of nights ago! Exact same first name, very similar last name, same hair, same eyes! My exact clone, only a bit shorter, a bit chubbier and a whole lot luckier! Luckier for having lived here all her life, for not having the faintest idea what has ever happened in Iran, for not caring at all. I would really like to know how 2 people so alike could have lived such diametrically opposite lives.
Got a call from my A&S TV friend to go see the documentary about sex and sexuality among Persian girls with him and the girl producer, a private screening kinda thing! Quite anxious, I sped to the place only to be a bit disappointed. It kinda did not meet my expectations, but was a nice effort. We will be showing it in September, a panel discussion with the girls will follow (And yes Asad jaan, you and your phone book are invited!)
Wednesday, June 15, 2005
Days of my ALONELY life in Cali:
Ok, so I have now officially not only been ALONE for over 2 weeks, but also LONELY as hell! Sis and mom are in Iran along with some other friends, most friends from school are doing summer abroad programs, and me, I am just ALONELY in OC! After those ugly ALONELY days in Iran I thought I would never experience such pain, boy was I wrong!
Summer School in Cali: Well, while most classmates are doing summer abroad programs in France and Spain, me and some friends are doing PATENT and TRADEMARK in OC! A whole lotta fun we are having! 3 hours of class everyday, over 100 pages of reading assignment for each class, and a whole lotta commuting is not my idea of a fun summer. Had it not been for the friends who are taking these 2 courses with me, I would have absolutely gone bananas 3 and a half weeks ago when school started only a few days after the gruelling finals! My brain is more fried than McDonald's fries!
Lake Therapy: Sunday morning in UCI, studying at the library with my Sharif U. friend who is a genius of a PhD student, persian lunch outdoors, stress bottled up inside! All was going well till a friend picked me up in between pages to go walking around the lake for a lil while before my heading back to my daily dosage of a 100+ pages of patent. After a fun walk we put our feet in the lake and talk talk talk. Somehow my cork gets unscrewed and I break and I cry and I shout my stress out to the Irvine lake, not caring about those walking around! I hardly, next to never, ever open up. Must have been the cool weather and the cold water. My friend, having always seen me standing tall and all smiley and all, consoles me in astonishment. Though all embarrassed of letting out emotions, I feel all relieved. Should do Lake Therapy more often, maybe even ocean therapy! Sure feels good to ventilate at times.
P.S. Lake Therapy continued: The night of the lake therapy day, I had a weird dream. In my dream I went back to the lake, took a couple of people I do not particularly like with me, and threw them into the lake one by one! I am no meanie but it felt so so so good!
Sex and the City of Irvine follow up: Well, I did not make it to UCLA for the movie and they said they'll bring it to OC. They tried, but could not get a place at UCI so they called me and I called my friend at A & S TV who is the sweetest TV person ever! They will be showing their film in UCI but before that, I will be getting a private screening in our office! Now ain't that so unlike me. Helping out with a film about all things taboo!
Shake Me Baby One More Time:For the second time in a matter of few days I was shaken, jolted and rocked and swayed in my bed for quite a few seconds. I can now officially refer to my bed as the ROCKING BED! It wasn't a plane, it wasn't superman (or prince charming for that matter!) it was another SoCal quake! Could it be the jolts of the Tehran elections sent all the way to Cali to shake up and wake up the Cali people from their Sunday morning sleep and afternoon beauty naps I can't help but wonder.
My Melted Worms: Ok, I need to know why all that I like I either have to leave behind in my gypsy style of a life,or they either get burnt down or go melted! I wrote how this Korean place where I got breakfast and lunch and lotsa affection from got burnt down. Then I started liking this hookah place, though I am no smoker, due to its being open till late in this county life we are leading and its liveliness. The friend who first took us there told me that it has burnt down just when I had plans to go there saturday night, june the 18th (last night!) after this party we were at! And as for melting, well, I am a big gummi fan now (my addiction to M&Ms have now turned into a severe case of gummi-holicness!). The only thing that keeps us awake during the 3 hour patent class is a big bag of gummi bears next to our book! The other day I decide to try a different kind of gummis, you know, for variety reasons since life is pretty boring. I debate between gummi dinos and gummi worms as I am no fast decision maker! Gummi worms I decide on after careful ponderings and start eating my worms in the car and regrettably leave them in the car, park the car outside and go in, only to come out hours later in pursuit of my worms and find a bag of melted, liquid worms instead! It was a gruelling scene I am telling ya! My life is a definite mess and my luck is the worst of all lucks on the face of the planet.
Ok, so I have now officially not only been ALONE for over 2 weeks, but also LONELY as hell! Sis and mom are in Iran along with some other friends, most friends from school are doing summer abroad programs, and me, I am just ALONELY in OC! After those ugly ALONELY days in Iran I thought I would never experience such pain, boy was I wrong!
Summer School in Cali: Well, while most classmates are doing summer abroad programs in France and Spain, me and some friends are doing PATENT and TRADEMARK in OC! A whole lotta fun we are having! 3 hours of class everyday, over 100 pages of reading assignment for each class, and a whole lotta commuting is not my idea of a fun summer. Had it not been for the friends who are taking these 2 courses with me, I would have absolutely gone bananas 3 and a half weeks ago when school started only a few days after the gruelling finals! My brain is more fried than McDonald's fries!
Lake Therapy: Sunday morning in UCI, studying at the library with my Sharif U. friend who is a genius of a PhD student, persian lunch outdoors, stress bottled up inside! All was going well till a friend picked me up in between pages to go walking around the lake for a lil while before my heading back to my daily dosage of a 100+ pages of patent. After a fun walk we put our feet in the lake and talk talk talk. Somehow my cork gets unscrewed and I break and I cry and I shout my stress out to the Irvine lake, not caring about those walking around! I hardly, next to never, ever open up. Must have been the cool weather and the cold water. My friend, having always seen me standing tall and all smiley and all, consoles me in astonishment. Though all embarrassed of letting out emotions, I feel all relieved. Should do Lake Therapy more often, maybe even ocean therapy! Sure feels good to ventilate at times.
P.S. Lake Therapy continued: The night of the lake therapy day, I had a weird dream. In my dream I went back to the lake, took a couple of people I do not particularly like with me, and threw them into the lake one by one! I am no meanie but it felt so so so good!
Sex and the City of Irvine follow up: Well, I did not make it to UCLA for the movie and they said they'll bring it to OC. They tried, but could not get a place at UCI so they called me and I called my friend at A & S TV who is the sweetest TV person ever! They will be showing their film in UCI but before that, I will be getting a private screening in our office! Now ain't that so unlike me. Helping out with a film about all things taboo!
Shake Me Baby One More Time:For the second time in a matter of few days I was shaken, jolted and rocked and swayed in my bed for quite a few seconds. I can now officially refer to my bed as the ROCKING BED! It wasn't a plane, it wasn't superman (or prince charming for that matter!) it was another SoCal quake! Could it be the jolts of the Tehran elections sent all the way to Cali to shake up and wake up the Cali people from their Sunday morning sleep and afternoon beauty naps I can't help but wonder.
My Melted Worms: Ok, I need to know why all that I like I either have to leave behind in my gypsy style of a life,or they either get burnt down or go melted! I wrote how this Korean place where I got breakfast and lunch and lotsa affection from got burnt down. Then I started liking this hookah place, though I am no smoker, due to its being open till late in this county life we are leading and its liveliness. The friend who first took us there told me that it has burnt down just when I had plans to go there saturday night, june the 18th (last night!) after this party we were at! And as for melting, well, I am a big gummi fan now (my addiction to M&Ms have now turned into a severe case of gummi-holicness!). The only thing that keeps us awake during the 3 hour patent class is a big bag of gummi bears next to our book! The other day I decide to try a different kind of gummis, you know, for variety reasons since life is pretty boring. I debate between gummi dinos and gummi worms as I am no fast decision maker! Gummi worms I decide on after careful ponderings and start eating my worms in the car and regrettably leave them in the car, park the car outside and go in, only to come out hours later in pursuit of my worms and find a bag of melted, liquid worms instead! It was a gruelling scene I am telling ya! My life is a definite mess and my luck is the worst of all lucks on the face of the planet.
