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Thursday, April 21, 2005

Days of My Life at Work:
My boss must think I am a cucumber!

Factual Background:
I work at this bar prep program for a husband and wife attorney.2 attorney to bes who just took the bar for the third time, as well as some other background employees, work there too!

Location:
Mission viejo, CA, in this nice shopping center where a coffehouse belonging to this nice Korean lady was located from where we all got breakfast and lunch.

Three reasons why my boss must think I am a cucumber:

1. The husband and wife duo work non-stoppingly night and day over a weekend, painting, redecorating, changing the whole office inside out! Everyone is all excited and proud and happy happy about the changes! I go in monday morning, disoriented and sleepy, notice nothing and noone and start working. The boss who calls me kiddo asks how I like the changes, I say oh you made changes? He freezes in astonishment!

2. I go to work on monday morning, disoriented and sleepy as one can get on a monday morning, park in the shopping center, notice a lil' difference and alot of people, walk up the stairs to the office, start working! Everyone is talking in a state of frenzy, thanking God and all the prophets! The boss sez kiddo what do you think about the huge fire? I sez Fire? He sez did you not see half the shopping center is burnt down? The coffeehouse is gone, we almost got burnt down on Friday, the police and investigators are down there, the place is cordoned off up to this office! I sez oh, I did notice something!!! And I go on working! And the boss freezes from astonishment.

3. Last Tuesday, I want to leave and go to school. They are all at the computer going goo goo gaga and oh my God these dogs are too cute, too sweet, oh wow, oh cute and all, over these dog pictures. I take a look, say bye, and am ready to fly off the door! The boss sez kiddo, you don't like dogs? I sez nah, do not care for pets, cannot stand them! And I go on walking towards the door! The boss freezes out of astonishment!

CONCLUSION:
My boss must think I am a cucumber!

Not So Funny in Farsi, Part three:

1. Our right out of iran friend makes a profile in one of them cheesy Iranian matchfinder sites. Under "I LOOK LIKE__" he puts:

I LOOK LIKE a girl!

Thinking they are asking him what he is looking for!

2. So we explain to the best of our ability what the sentence is asking him! Next time we check his profile we see the following:

I LOOK LIKE good.

Thinking they are asking him how he looks, and the humble guy that he is wants those checking out his profile know that he LOOK LIKE GOOD! We have given up on him, hope he finds what he is looking for (a girl that is!)since he look like very good!

3. A friend who has lived here for over 20 years has an office where I visit him at when I am in the vicinity. The other day him and his friend (who are both over 60) were talking about this other friend of theirs. His friend sez: did you know he has ADD or ADHD? He sez: Oh, really? I knew he had a B.S. degree but had no idea about all these other degrees! I knew he was a smart guy though! And me and his friend freeze due to astonishment!

Sunday, April 17, 2005

Days of My Life In and Out of Law School:

A. Days of My Life in Law School:

Pleasing the Court:

and the justices alike!

Friday April 15, '05, 2 PM Pacific Time:

Me: Looking sheepishly at the handsome chief justice.
Chief Justice: Proceed
Me: Good afternoon your honors, May it please the court?
My name is AP GIC and I represent the appellant, Harley Quinn, doing business as Harley Quinn's Regency Bookstop. The issue before the court is that the lower court's granting of summary judgement in favor of Harlequin Enterprises was in error...blah, blah, blah..(justices jumping in with questions!)

5 minutes later:

Still me: For the reasons mentioned, Ms Quinn respectfully requests the reversal of the order granting summary judgement!

Legal skills professor and the justices alike, liked mine and my partner's argument and complimented us on our preparation, eye contact and tone and it felt great. This was our first oral argument, everyone was quite nervous about it except the cucumbers like yours truly. It was so much fun seeing the people I had seen in tshirts, caps and torn jeans for 9 months all dressed up and professional looking. Honestly, the guys at our school looked amazingly dashing, especially the Iranian guys. Overall it was great and I loved it a whole lot.

P.S. I knew I had a disease to please but had no idea a day would come for me to be pleasing the court and the justices alike! We had a heated debate behind the door while waiting for our turn on Friday over whether it should be "May I please the court" or "May IT please the court"! It makes absolutely no sense to me!

B. Days of My Life Outside Law School:

Loving that Couch:

Well,outside school it is the couch and I and the laptop on the top! Me on the couch and the laptop on my laps. A few weeks to the finals and the freaked out PG does not get up from the couch except for restroom breaks!The only fun things in the past couple of weeks have been the following:

a. Friends at the A&S TV inviting us to the events and plays they bring to OC, the latest one being "Visaye- Behesht" by Mr Assadollahi.
b. The Karl Strauss event on Thursday held by SBA from school, giving us drinks and appetizers to get our votes, seeing schoolmates get drunk the day before their oral advocacy thingie and still talking about it while trying to keep their balance!
c. This huge Intellectual Property event held in my school on Tuesday, where Judge Michell spoke and 250 IP attorneys attended; me and the rest of the IP certificate classmates of mine were the hosts! Wine and appetizers were served in the courtyard! (I realize these events should go under days of my life in school, it just feels better to list them here, makes me feel less nerdy!

CONCLUSION:

And so, the days of my life is passing me by as I sit on the couch, typing, reading, worrying and gaining them pounds! Is there no one out there to help me out?! (Would appreciate any kind of help from a tall dark handsome persian guy!)

P.S. See, this is what happens to you when you don't see the light of day for days! You go absolutely nuts and corny! Let this be a lesson to all you who are thinking of going to school! Well, it is time for me to get back to the days of my life on my couch. Love y'all.

Saturday, April 02, 2005

Days of My Life Prior to My Due Date,
and Beyond

By due date I mean the due date of my appellate brief of course, i.e., the day it was due! Those in law school know how much work and stress goes into writing an appellate brief, specifically for a Persian gal right outta Iran who has no idea what the bleep she is doing. What comes below is an account of days of my life during that hectic period of time!

Law School puts on, Law School takes off,
and Law School puts right back on:

A whole lotta pounds of persian fat, gained during last semester's finals, stayed with me all throughout this semester up until the brief time! Staying up till 3 am most nights, running around the library doing research, reading tens of thousands of cases, and constantly worrying over the paper and shedding a whole lotta tears, worked much better than weightwatchers and half of the whole lotta pounds just disappeared, just like that! POOF, GONE! Temporarily that is. Happy happy over the lost pounds, my Persian appetite came running back to me, and with it came back all the lost pounds. These Law School diets can be a whole lotta tricky you guys.

Follow up on the Ex-Files

Well, the Ex back from Vegas on Norooz vacation kept anxiously wanting to hang out and I kept prolonging it! I finally promised to hang out on Saturday as the paper was due on Friday. When I got invited to a Saturday Law School party, I had to reschedule with the Ex and bravely change it to Thursday, the day before the due date! All nervous about the paper I awaited him, in my sleep that is! I was so tired that I fell sleep on the couch and woke up realizing the dude is already 30 minutes late! All happy for the first time about a guy's lateness, I called and cancelled and went happily back to sleep on the couch! The very much in love Ex never called back!

Talking about love, the dude who always claimed love and proposed marriage came to 2 of the events I was at this past week. Having a girl on his arms, he tried hardy hard not to be seen! Not possible in Orange County! It was just too hilarious. What is with (some of )you Persian guys? You cannot have both the date and the god you know ( ham khoda ham khorma?).

Norooz in Orange County, California

Well, we had a great New Year here. Starting with the most recent one, on March 27th we put together a Norooz deed va baazdid which went pretty well. The pictures are posted on Iranian.com. For those of you fortunate enough to not have met me face to face, I am in a couple of the pictures, go figure!

www.Iranian.com

On Friday, the paper was due at 5 pm and I was supposed to be at this major Norooz party my community was having at 5! By 4:30 I half finished the edting of the paper and could not get my printer to print! At 4:48 I finally mailed my paper all nervous about the possible typos I had no time to correct! At 5, make-up-less as always, I printed a copy of the paper to fret over at the party and rushed to Hyatt hotel. The reception was great. Over 500 great iranians danced and ate and sang and laughed. My friends in VOA interviewed me and considering all the dilemma I had been through prior to the interview I think I did ok! At 2 AM we all went home happy about having such a great communty.

Kick Back Party:

I have been invited to a couple of parties by the lawschoolers before but never went. This time it was different. First of all the guy who invited me is a sweet persian guy who taught me how to play foosball and his girl friend is my criminal law teacher assistant. Secondly, my persian gal pals were going. He called it a kick back party for the finals being over at UCLA and appellate briefs being turned in at Whittier. All tired and burnt out from work, school, Norooz and volunteer work we went to his party late. His fraternity friends were playing foosball as if their lives depended on it! Wanting to show off my 2 sessions of foosball training, I get into a double's match with them and the losers commit to do shots! As I keep scoring for the other side, me and this guy lose twice and do 2 shots! You see, I have close to minus zero tolerance for alcohol and 2 shots made me so dizzy that I just put my head on the table the rest of the night, lifting it occasionally to engage in the conversation going on about profs and the brief! Serves me right for going back on my promise to myself not to drink more than a glass of wine a month! These dudes acted as if they had drunk milk and I fell sick that night! What is with (some of) you men? You drink like a fish and nothing ever happens, we smell the alcohol and go all buzzed. No fair!

Morteza in Porteghaal abaad, CA

The day after my foosball scenario, on March 27th, I get up all sick and wanting to die when I remember we have the deed va bazdid event to go to. There, my community which I am a board member of, gave us VIP tickets (116 dollars!) to go to Morteza, Helen and Farshid Amin's concert. So we all go and decide to show off being in the front row to the rest of the OC when we realize not that many have showed up! I always thought of morteza as a popular performer but guess OCeans do not think so, they are very hard to please and want only the best. I had a great time with my community people and friends. At a time when I had nothing to do but study night and day, I told a friend I was all burnt out from studying and she said she understands because she is all burnt out from going out! I did not understand at that time how you can get burnt out from having fun. Too much fun does get on your nerves you guys!

P.S. Suppression Anxiety:

I realize that most people leaving their mother land suffer from seperation anxiety but mine was overcome by a severe case of suppression anxiety due to the years of the society telling me not to do this and not to say that. We suppressed our feelings and our natural behaviour and all that we wanted to say and do to the point of suffocation. The reason I am writing this is that a friend called from Iran this morning and we reviewed all the dark days for an hour. It is all over, you might say, forget and live on, you may go on advising, but those born and brought up here will never understand. The suppression trend becomes so inherent after years of having to practice it that it may stay with you for the rest of your life! Wish there was a pill out there for suppressing this recurring suppression anxiety!


P.P.S. 13 bedar deed-va-baazdid: Everyone was at the park, including the people I complained about above! The ex back from Vegas was there with the family, claimed when I called to cancell he was 10 minutes away from my house, big slim tall good looking bad liar!, the guy who claims love and proposes marriage was there with the same girl on his arms, came to me when she was away for a lil while, said it is his cousin (he had told me about his dokhtar khaale before, how she is here for them to see if they are compatible to get married!), a whole lotta gorgeous guys and girls from my school were there, basically the whole OC and beyond was there, but I had less fun than last year, Law school has fractured my fun bone I guess. Next year I may ban 4shanbe soori and 13 bedar and just go see a movie or something!

P.P.P.S. Oral Advocay: Just had my oral argument in front of my fellow classmates, three of whom posed as justices. Went ok I guess. My partner and I bribed the justices so that they won't grill us. Guess we will be buying them lunch today, which is not going to be the case next week since next week's justices are not going to be our sweet adorable equally-freaked-out-if-not-more classmates, but possibly profs or second or third years, plus no one can stay, it'll be just me and the justices, so no familiar friendly faces. Not gonna freak out right now though as I have the whole week to freak!

P.P.P.P.S. Babak and friends: A talented young Iranian has made a beautiful animation on Norooz. I have not yet seen it but I know the rest of the Board members of my community have met with and are supporting the director! I watched the trailer and am pretty anxious to watch the whole thing now. Here is Andy's music video, "DARAM MIRAM BE TEHRAN"(thanks Mehrzad jaan). I love it, know you will too.

DARAM MIRAM BE TEHRAN

P.S. on the P.P.P.P.S.The cute thing is that I have a cousin Babak with whom I grew up who looks like the Babak in the animation!Miss him a whole lot.

P.P.P.P.P.S. DARAM MIRAM BE TEHRAN (MIKHAM BERAM BE TEHRAN):
Tehran v. NY, which one to choose?

My mom's cousin in NY holds a family reunion August of every year. This will be my first time in NY and first family reunion.My Vietnamesse friend is flying to NY with some girlfriends to visit her boyfriend at the same time! So I can totally hook up with them while re-unioning!I have three weeks between the end of summer school and start of the fall semester that I can spend in NY. Normally I would not even give it a NY second of a thought, but the thing is that my whole family is going to Iran next month which has tempted me so so so soooo much to go there after summer school, even if for 3 weeks! I miss Tehroon. I miss my friends. I miss the pollution. I miss it all. Tehran or NY, that's the question. Need to sleep on that for the next couple of weeks!

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