Saturday, February 28, 2004
Just A Silly Persian Moose:
Ok, so we go to this fair where this radio station people are giving away stuff! Not caring about all that, I sit by the pool to rest my feet when I hear them say:" We will give two DIDO tickets to the first person who comes up here and....."! I used to listen to DIDO back home with friends and have lots of memories from her songs. So at the mention of her name I lose control and find myself up there, being applauded by the radio gang! What I had not heard was:"... comes up here and wears this MOOSE (welcome to MoosePort) cap for 20 minutes!" I had no way out now, I was trapped, there was no where to run, no place to hide! So I finally give in and wear the cap for 20 minutes and actually find it fun. 20 minutes later I get rewarded with two tickets to DIDO's concert (yayyyyy!), two tickets to see "Welcome to Mooseport" and the cute Moose cap already on my head! Not a bad deal! All I need to do now is to move out of Cali where no one remembers this day!
Ok, so we go to this fair where this radio station people are giving away stuff! Not caring about all that, I sit by the pool to rest my feet when I hear them say:" We will give two DIDO tickets to the first person who comes up here and....."! I used to listen to DIDO back home with friends and have lots of memories from her songs. So at the mention of her name I lose control and find myself up there, being applauded by the radio gang! What I had not heard was:"... comes up here and wears this MOOSE (welcome to MoosePort) cap for 20 minutes!" I had no way out now, I was trapped, there was no where to run, no place to hide! So I finally give in and wear the cap for 20 minutes and actually find it fun. 20 minutes later I get rewarded with two tickets to DIDO's concert (yayyyyy!), two tickets to see "Welcome to Mooseport" and the cute Moose cap already on my head! Not a bad deal! All I need to do now is to move out of Cali where no one remembers this day!
Saturday, February 21, 2004
Hold Me;
Hold me a lil' more
Ok, so I call this travel place to find out about their tour programs. A Korean ( I guess)lady picks up the phone and I ask to talk to Linda. She sez:" Linda not here". I ask if I can ask her a question, to which she answers in a loud voice:"I very busy, HOLD ME!" Thinking she needs a hug 'cause she is exhausted and lonely and wondering how I can get to the place to give the lonely woman a hug, I soon realize I have been put on hold and "hold me please" means "may I put you on hold"! So I await her patiently. She comes back after minutes, not remembering me, and sez:" X tours". I sez: " You put me on hold, I need to ask you a question". She sez:" I very busy" and then:" Hold me lil' more"!! And again comes the music. Not wanting things to get steamier than they already were, I decide not to HOLD her no more, so I hang up, and await the return of Linda.
Hold me a lil' more
Ok, so I call this travel place to find out about their tour programs. A Korean ( I guess)lady picks up the phone and I ask to talk to Linda. She sez:" Linda not here". I ask if I can ask her a question, to which she answers in a loud voice:"I very busy, HOLD ME!" Thinking she needs a hug 'cause she is exhausted and lonely and wondering how I can get to the place to give the lonely woman a hug, I soon realize I have been put on hold and "hold me please" means "may I put you on hold"! So I await her patiently. She comes back after minutes, not remembering me, and sez:" X tours". I sez: " You put me on hold, I need to ask you a question". She sez:" I very busy" and then:" Hold me lil' more"!! And again comes the music. Not wanting things to get steamier than they already were, I decide not to HOLD her no more, so I hang up, and await the return of Linda.
Friday, February 13, 2004
You too, Mohajerani?
My reaction when I first heard Mohajerani's secret marriage to a 25 year old:
Me: Oh my God. (Silently to myself)
My reaction when I heard the name of mohajerani's 25 year old secret wife:
Me: OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! ( Shouting, while running around the house, up and down the stairs and finally to my dad's room where the poor guy was sound sleep!)
I first met her a few months before moving to the States. She was a very tall, big built girl next to whom I looked like a dwarf ( despite my being considered a pretty tall girl and all!). They had met at an art exhibition so I was told and she had brought with her a design, which was to be used for the cover of his book. She immediately got hired and we became colleagues. In spite of working in two different departments on different floors, we saw each other quite a few times and she seemed to me a nice girl. Not many liked her since she had climbed the ladder too quickly and had reached the top in a matter of a couple of weeks. We would talk but never did she once blurt out anything about Mohajerani and their future plans.
Dec. 12, 2002, I move to the States. Some months later I hear of Mohajerani's resignation and I think nothing of it. I always thought of him as a very educated, loyal, family man, little did I know that right over my head a secret marriage was in the making! (The whole disaster brings back the memories of Clinton and Monica.) I still cannot believe it. He has grown up kids and a beautiful, smart wife who has stood by her man's side throughout the whole thing, Hillary style. I wish it were all a lie and a rumor, I wish he had not betrayed the trust of those around him, I wish I had not learned the name of the woman involved and I wish I had not waken up my poor dad that horrible night to tell him the sad, shocking news. Wish I could undo it all but wishing is all I can do!
My reaction when I first heard Mohajerani's secret marriage to a 25 year old:
Me: Oh my God. (Silently to myself)
My reaction when I heard the name of mohajerani's 25 year old secret wife:
Me: OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! ( Shouting, while running around the house, up and down the stairs and finally to my dad's room where the poor guy was sound sleep!)
I first met her a few months before moving to the States. She was a very tall, big built girl next to whom I looked like a dwarf ( despite my being considered a pretty tall girl and all!). They had met at an art exhibition so I was told and she had brought with her a design, which was to be used for the cover of his book. She immediately got hired and we became colleagues. In spite of working in two different departments on different floors, we saw each other quite a few times and she seemed to me a nice girl. Not many liked her since she had climbed the ladder too quickly and had reached the top in a matter of a couple of weeks. We would talk but never did she once blurt out anything about Mohajerani and their future plans.
Dec. 12, 2002, I move to the States. Some months later I hear of Mohajerani's resignation and I think nothing of it. I always thought of him as a very educated, loyal, family man, little did I know that right over my head a secret marriage was in the making! (The whole disaster brings back the memories of Clinton and Monica.) I still cannot believe it. He has grown up kids and a beautiful, smart wife who has stood by her man's side throughout the whole thing, Hillary style. I wish it were all a lie and a rumor, I wish he had not betrayed the trust of those around him, I wish I had not learned the name of the woman involved and I wish I had not waken up my poor dad that horrible night to tell him the sad, shocking news. Wish I could undo it all but wishing is all I can do!
Wednesday, February 11, 2004
Cupid's in the air
Love's all around!
V-Day is almost here. Don't know about you guys, but my nostrils are filled with love and love and more love! A word of advice to those who do not believe in Love; if you see Cupid hovering around your head, don't throw stones at him. Give love a chance, love and be loved, make everyday of your life a V-Day. Go out and love someone. You will not regret it. And remember :"Love is a gift, not an obligation".
To all you crazy kids already in love, I dedicate "To Love" by "Forough Farrokhzad" (translated by Manavaz Alexandrian). Love you all. Enjoy the day of love and passion to the fullest.
Tonight from the sky of your eyes
Stars are pouring on my poem;
In the silence of the heap of paper;
My fists plant the seeds of flame
My crazy and feverish poem,
Shy of the indentures of desire,
Is again burning its frame
From the eternal thirst of fire.
Yes, it is the beginning of loving,
Though the end of the path is unknown;
But I do not think of the end,
It is loving that charms, I must own.
Why fear the turbid darkness?
The night is full of diamonds that shine;
That which remains from the night
Is the perfume of the soporific Jasmine.
O' let me lose myself in you
So that no one can find my address;
A burning soul and a moist sigh
Shall blow on my poetry's surface.
Know you what I seek from my life?
To dissolve in you from the head to the toe,
Even if I live a thousand lives,
It is you I will seek again, it is you.
That which is hidden in me is a sea;
How can I hide it in my breast?
I wish I had the power
To speak of this horrible tempest.
Yes, this is the beginning of loving,
Though the end of the path is unknown;
Yet I do not think of the end,
It is loving that charms, I must own.
Love's all around!
V-Day is almost here. Don't know about you guys, but my nostrils are filled with love and love and more love! A word of advice to those who do not believe in Love; if you see Cupid hovering around your head, don't throw stones at him. Give love a chance, love and be loved, make everyday of your life a V-Day. Go out and love someone. You will not regret it. And remember :"Love is a gift, not an obligation".
To all you crazy kids already in love, I dedicate "To Love" by "Forough Farrokhzad" (translated by Manavaz Alexandrian). Love you all. Enjoy the day of love and passion to the fullest.
Tonight from the sky of your eyes
Stars are pouring on my poem;
In the silence of the heap of paper;
My fists plant the seeds of flame
My crazy and feverish poem,
Shy of the indentures of desire,
Is again burning its frame
From the eternal thirst of fire.
Yes, it is the beginning of loving,
Though the end of the path is unknown;
But I do not think of the end,
It is loving that charms, I must own.
Why fear the turbid darkness?
The night is full of diamonds that shine;
That which remains from the night
Is the perfume of the soporific Jasmine.
O' let me lose myself in you
So that no one can find my address;
A burning soul and a moist sigh
Shall blow on my poetry's surface.
Know you what I seek from my life?
To dissolve in you from the head to the toe,
Even if I live a thousand lives,
It is you I will seek again, it is you.
That which is hidden in me is a sea;
How can I hide it in my breast?
I wish I had the power
To speak of this horrible tempest.
Yes, this is the beginning of loving,
Though the end of the path is unknown;
Yet I do not think of the end,
It is loving that charms, I must own.
Monday, February 02, 2004
Life in California, U.S.A.
All about O.C., CA and beyond:
Colgate Moments Galore
Overnicety aplenty:
Ok, so the first thing you notice about the O.C.eans is their nicety and how they tend to flash their colgate-white, perfect set of teeth at ya every lil' chance they get, and I have learnt to flash right back at them(my teeth that is). You get a lot of smiles from the people you cross paths with and you automatically start to smile back, Mona Lisa style. When out all day, I generally come back with jaws and cheekbones all sore and blue from the oversmiling. People are so nice in O.C. that like Burt Reynolds once said, you'd want to slap 'em!
O.C.P.D. Blue:
You make the slightest traffic lapse and you're so busted bro'! A semi-stop at the green light got the cop stopping our friend who drives a stickshift in memory of her car in Iran! The cop gave her a warning and all she could think of while I was translating how she shan't stop at greenlights no more was how hunky the cop is!
Another incident: We are coming from a party in Newport and a non-hunky scary cop stops us for semi-stopping, instead of full-stopping before making a right turn at the red light. I am politely told to shut my yap since I am not the one who VIOLATED THE TRAFFIC RULES! Now how can that be a violation? O' how I miss the good ol' chaotic days from back home. Remember the accidents? Remember how drivers would total each other's cars, take out the chain they lock the steering wheel with, solve the problem amongst themselves peacefully! and become best friends for life? Do you, do you remember guys? (sing it to the Michael Jackson song!) One more thing I like to complain about is how you have to wait for your very own "walk" light before you cross. The jay walking skills I had so beautifully picked out over the years of living in Iran are getting rusty. Now I need to take me to L.A. and brush up on 'em before all goes to waste.
O.C. Weather
As I am writing these short! lines, it is raining lotsa cats and a whole lotsa dogs outside my window. We are on a storm alert. The weather is so unpredictable I feel like banging my head against my pillow at times! Very cold in the morning, pretty hot at noon, cold cold cold again at night. It's been so cold these past couple of months that a reasonable person cannot NOT question the whole concept of California Dreamin'!! I go out all bundled up, gloves, scarf, hat, earmuffs, the whole work. Now you would think I would get all embarassed walking next to them girls in shorts and tank tops, but hey, I am all maxed out!
Farsi here, Farsi there, Farsi everywhere:
Now you would think living in the United States would help your English improve by the second. Not in Cali my friends. All I hear is Farsi. In the bank, at college, at the library, at the supermarket and in the public restroom. Even other nationalities have something in Farsi to say to you. The other day this beautiful girl told me how when she comes across a handsome Persian guy, she yells out in a sexy voice:"Shotori"! I nicely explained to her how she has been calling these guys "Camels" ( Farsi lesson #1: "Chetori=how are you"-"Shotori= you are a camel") and further explained how next time she comes across one, she should lead him to me. After all, life is all about helping people out!
The Case of Growing Love Handles:
You wake up one day in your room in O.C., take a look in the mirror and with eyes and mouth gaped open realize where all the M&Ms you have been consuming over the past year have ended up and piled up! A diet of Persian food ( rice everyday, gaz, sohaan,..) plus a daily over-dose of western junk food leaves you waking up to a sagging tummy! Oh well, time to use the free gym passes!
Get them "W"s and "TH"s outta the Language:
(before it is too late)
My only problem with English: Them "W"s and them "TH"s! So this elderly lady at school is asking me what I used to do back home, I round up my lips in an attempt to speak proper, native like English, and say: "Back in Iran I used to be a Webpage Coordinator/designer". All happy thinking I have got the "W" all right and proper through my puckered up lips, I relax the muscles in my upper and lower lips and give her my beautiful, Persian smile. Her looking at me in horror tells me something is wrong. I realize despite all my effort, I must not have pronounced the "W" correctly and point out to her how we have problems with that and keep repeating "Webpage designer", "webpage designer". She looks at me in relief and says:" Oh, I thought you said Weapons designer!" Where she got the word "Weapons" from, I will never comprehend! Does that not have a "W" in it as well!
P.S.And while at it, get that "W", "GW", outta the office!(before it is too late).
Love Thy Neighbour;
(from a distance that is)
Another thing about O.C. is that you get to have the best neighbours ever, you just never get to meet them and sit and have tea with them for hours. A classmate who has lived in the same neighbourhood for years says he never got to know a single one of his neighbours. His mom comes to visit and one evening he comes home to an unusual-for-O.C. scene! The mom had made aash reshte, had insisted on the neighbour's coming over, and was in the process of showing her all the family photo albums while insisting on her having Aash and tea. Now that's what we should do more often!
How about 'em Superbowlers?
So everything was super on Sunday, even the bowl was super. This 15 year old football fanatic friend right outta Iran comes over and explains to me how the SUPERBALL( he insists that it is superball and not superbowl!) is something like the game between "Esteghlaal" and "Persepolis"! Now I look and look and do not see the resemblance, especially the grass! Remember the grass with the bald patches in Azadi Stadium? Ok, so we sit and try to make out what's going on. A guy takes the ball, the others get all mad and attack him, and I find myself yelling:"Drop the ball you idiot and run". And how come there is no net no nothing you guys? And what's with all the spitting, gum chewing and behind-patting? And what was with all the skin-exposure? 90 million got to see Janet and Justin's unjustified show of wardrobe malfunction. Make that 90 million minus one; President Bush is said to have fallen sleep after the first half! Oh well, his loss.
P.S. Is it me or did everyone else think "Paris Hilton" is a "Hilton" Hotel in "Paris"? I just found out today that it is the name of a person, and what a person it is.
All about O.C., CA and beyond:
Colgate Moments Galore
Overnicety aplenty:
Ok, so the first thing you notice about the O.C.eans is their nicety and how they tend to flash their colgate-white, perfect set of teeth at ya every lil' chance they get, and I have learnt to flash right back at them(my teeth that is). You get a lot of smiles from the people you cross paths with and you automatically start to smile back, Mona Lisa style. When out all day, I generally come back with jaws and cheekbones all sore and blue from the oversmiling. People are so nice in O.C. that like Burt Reynolds once said, you'd want to slap 'em!
O.C.P.D. Blue:
You make the slightest traffic lapse and you're so busted bro'! A semi-stop at the green light got the cop stopping our friend who drives a stickshift in memory of her car in Iran! The cop gave her a warning and all she could think of while I was translating how she shan't stop at greenlights no more was how hunky the cop is!
Another incident: We are coming from a party in Newport and a non-hunky scary cop stops us for semi-stopping, instead of full-stopping before making a right turn at the red light. I am politely told to shut my yap since I am not the one who VIOLATED THE TRAFFIC RULES! Now how can that be a violation? O' how I miss the good ol' chaotic days from back home. Remember the accidents? Remember how drivers would total each other's cars, take out the chain they lock the steering wheel with, solve the problem amongst themselves peacefully! and become best friends for life? Do you, do you remember guys? (sing it to the Michael Jackson song!) One more thing I like to complain about is how you have to wait for your very own "walk" light before you cross. The jay walking skills I had so beautifully picked out over the years of living in Iran are getting rusty. Now I need to take me to L.A. and brush up on 'em before all goes to waste.
O.C. Weather
As I am writing these short! lines, it is raining lotsa cats and a whole lotsa dogs outside my window. We are on a storm alert. The weather is so unpredictable I feel like banging my head against my pillow at times! Very cold in the morning, pretty hot at noon, cold cold cold again at night. It's been so cold these past couple of months that a reasonable person cannot NOT question the whole concept of California Dreamin'!! I go out all bundled up, gloves, scarf, hat, earmuffs, the whole work. Now you would think I would get all embarassed walking next to them girls in shorts and tank tops, but hey, I am all maxed out!
Farsi here, Farsi there, Farsi everywhere:
Now you would think living in the United States would help your English improve by the second. Not in Cali my friends. All I hear is Farsi. In the bank, at college, at the library, at the supermarket and in the public restroom. Even other nationalities have something in Farsi to say to you. The other day this beautiful girl told me how when she comes across a handsome Persian guy, she yells out in a sexy voice:"Shotori"! I nicely explained to her how she has been calling these guys "Camels" ( Farsi lesson #1: "Chetori=how are you"-"Shotori= you are a camel") and further explained how next time she comes across one, she should lead him to me. After all, life is all about helping people out!
The Case of Growing Love Handles:
You wake up one day in your room in O.C., take a look in the mirror and with eyes and mouth gaped open realize where all the M&Ms you have been consuming over the past year have ended up and piled up! A diet of Persian food ( rice everyday, gaz, sohaan,..) plus a daily over-dose of western junk food leaves you waking up to a sagging tummy! Oh well, time to use the free gym passes!
Get them "W"s and "TH"s outta the Language:
(before it is too late)
My only problem with English: Them "W"s and them "TH"s! So this elderly lady at school is asking me what I used to do back home, I round up my lips in an attempt to speak proper, native like English, and say: "Back in Iran I used to be a Webpage Coordinator/designer". All happy thinking I have got the "W" all right and proper through my puckered up lips, I relax the muscles in my upper and lower lips and give her my beautiful, Persian smile. Her looking at me in horror tells me something is wrong. I realize despite all my effort, I must not have pronounced the "W" correctly and point out to her how we have problems with that and keep repeating "Webpage designer", "webpage designer". She looks at me in relief and says:" Oh, I thought you said Weapons designer!" Where she got the word "Weapons" from, I will never comprehend! Does that not have a "W" in it as well!
P.S.And while at it, get that "W", "GW", outta the office!(before it is too late).
Love Thy Neighbour;
(from a distance that is)
Another thing about O.C. is that you get to have the best neighbours ever, you just never get to meet them and sit and have tea with them for hours. A classmate who has lived in the same neighbourhood for years says he never got to know a single one of his neighbours. His mom comes to visit and one evening he comes home to an unusual-for-O.C. scene! The mom had made aash reshte, had insisted on the neighbour's coming over, and was in the process of showing her all the family photo albums while insisting on her having Aash and tea. Now that's what we should do more often!
How about 'em Superbowlers?
So everything was super on Sunday, even the bowl was super. This 15 year old football fanatic friend right outta Iran comes over and explains to me how the SUPERBALL( he insists that it is superball and not superbowl!) is something like the game between "Esteghlaal" and "Persepolis"! Now I look and look and do not see the resemblance, especially the grass! Remember the grass with the bald patches in Azadi Stadium? Ok, so we sit and try to make out what's going on. A guy takes the ball, the others get all mad and attack him, and I find myself yelling:"Drop the ball you idiot and run". And how come there is no net no nothing you guys? And what's with all the spitting, gum chewing and behind-patting? And what was with all the skin-exposure? 90 million got to see Janet and Justin's unjustified show of wardrobe malfunction. Make that 90 million minus one; President Bush is said to have fallen sleep after the first half! Oh well, his loss.
P.S. Is it me or did everyone else think "Paris Hilton" is a "Hilton" Hotel in "Paris"? I just found out today that it is the name of a person, and what a person it is.
